


Grape Soda Banked (a Homestar one-shot by Dilly Mackey/Dylan McConnaughey)

by Dillymackey



Category: Homestar Runner
Genre: Canvey is my favorite Homestar Runner OC., Desire, F/M, Fanfic, I don't want the World, I just want your half, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Porn With or Without Plot, Seriously!, Sex, Strong Sad's Lament, Strong Sad's Litany, Strong Sad's Litany of Crushed Hopes and Dreams, TMBG, Wow, all the characters are of unknown age whatsoever, ana ng - Freeform, bts - Freeform, canvey island monster, dftgnhy, eh steve, fgjhrftyhmf, hgbreliugvhuiregyh, homestar runner - Freeform, mnbvcxzlkjhgfdsapoiuytrewq, qazxcvbnkmopljihugytfrdsew, qazxswedcvfrtgbnhyujmkiolp, qwerasfdzvxcbnmghjktyuiopl, qwertyuiopasdfghjklzxcvbnm, rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, v - Freeform, what have I done?, wow so many additional tags., xfjmrhygdt, ysyiukjmygsmdtgfjkmf
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-14
Updated: 2019-02-14
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:14:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21745105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dillymackey/pseuds/Dillymackey
Summary: Strong Sad types his heart out through his litany. Enough said.
Relationships: Strong Sad/Original Character(s)
Kudos: 2





	Grape Soda Banked (a Homestar one-shot by Dilly Mackey/Dylan McConnaughey)

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Restricted Work] by [thingswithwings](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thingswithwings/pseuds/thingswithwings). Log in to view. 



> The Dingus Bungalow is not affiliated with HomestarRunnerDotCom, its owner Harmless Junk and its creators The Brothers Chaps (Mike and Matt Chapman) in any way, shape and/or form whatsoever. This fanfic was written because I weirdly thought about Strong Sad and original character Canvey. Contains an implied mentioned come-on. Viewer/reader discretion is advised. Please don't sue me. Please. Seriously.
> 
> Anyways, on with the fanfic...

### she's a tear in my heart - 02.14.2020 (posted at 8:47am)

##### current mood: as blue as my mood ring right now

##### current tune(s): Joji - the entire Ballads 1 album

In honor of Valentine's Day, I decided to silence the rumor mill and just say it; I have a girlfriend named Canvey.

It started on that day in September of our King of Town 2019. Lo-fi musician Daniel Johnston just died (RIP) and Strong "The Rook" Bad was gonna throw creamed corn at me but as soon as he heard piano sounds, El Fuerte Malo had no choice but to record me on the piano playing one of Daniel Johnston's songs. Then, it dawned on Stro Bro that we both like Daniel Johnston.

And then, minutes (if not hours) later, Strong Bad decided to throw a can of creamed corn at me anyway (to which I acknowledged it) and that made me realize that I needed someone to comfort me during the grayest of times. So I put together a little dating profile on a site called "GenericDatingWebsite.egg" (it's already popular with people in Cory, North Dakota). The people on that site cared about me and my feelings (which is actually nice) but there's one person that I think cared about me the most and her name is Canvey Fricken Island. And yes, "Fricken" is her middle name.

I know she read my litany and I know she sent sketchy e-mail sexts at me (which is weird). In response, I asked her to send me a selfie to prove that she's not a robot and the result is so sexy (to my standards), I'm not gonna show you the photo itself but lemme disclose the whole shebang.

Canvey is a beautiful (but mostly nervous) redheaded hellbeast midget with glow-in-the-dark green eyes, a bell-shaped body and blue Sonic-like sneakers on her feet. She works for that marshmallow place as a waitress for no reason whatsoever but enough about that. She's also genderfluid. In the selfie that she sent me, she was basically standing there, in her mirror, phone in hand, rubbing her nether regions, all while naked as a jaybird (except she's wearing sexy garter belt lingerie with stockings). I swear I wanted to go fourth base on those nether regions if you know what I mean. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Anyways, because of the selfie, I sent her sexy compliments (most of them inspired by a guy named Dr. Marvin Rubdown who is actually Aka Strong Bad in disguise for some reason). Then, moments later, I asked her if she wanna visit me and I thought "sure, why not?"

As soon as Canvey knocked on my door, the first things I brought her were some roses and a box of chocolates (I chose the healthy kind because I'm pretty sure she's trying to watch her figure). I gave her the roses and she liked it (simply because of the sunny scent). That's when I knew I have to do something to save face and (also to avoid turning heel too). I complimented her over the selfie and then, we went to first base, then second base, then possibly even quite third base and then finally, fourth base (or 'homerun', as Homestar likes to call it). The whole experience felt amazing (as far as I can remember) to the point that it can be described through a weird song called "Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo" by the Bloodhound Gang. I talked to Strong Fast about this experience and all he said was "You're the reason why I should use a condom because you used one."

Sorry if this is a long entry for you but I always wanted to type my heart out (metaphorically). In conclusion, Canvey is my girlfriend and I love her so much. Glad I found someone that can comfort me and even a little bit more than comfort. That and the time when the storm tangled up the wire to the horn on the pole at the bus depot.

Also, to Brother SB, I have one question; "Why do you always type stuff with boxing gloves on?"

Sincerely, Strong Sad.

**Author's Note:**

> uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...


End file.
